A gut feeling..

You know the feeling.  The feeling deep down in your stomach telling you this might not end well, or you’re on the right path because you are given these little emotional and/or physical directional signs, or you start down a path and you get this pit deep in your gut.  It’s a gut feeling confirming your direction or waving the red flags to do an immediate U-turn.

A year ago this November, I began a journey because of a gut feeling.  For weeks, I denied the persistent nudge.  I reflect back on those weeks often these days.  The reason it took me weeks to dive into this 16^th century story based on historical facts is because I didn’t think that I had the talent to embrace the story to its fullest potential.  I was scared.  To create something, to put yourself out there, is the most vulnerable that I’ve ever felt.  To trust your gut feeling is not a risk, I assure you.  The only times I’ve had deep regret in my life is when I decided to go against my gut feeling.   I guess my entire delay was because I wanted a life, I wanted to have fun with my friends, travel and not have something always pending over my already fifty hour work week.  Yet, I could not resist a story.  I recall vividly, meditating to the universe… GOD… to please help me, guide me, show me the way. 

While I was in Asheville a couple of weeks ago, I had some spare time so I headed over to Malaprop's bookstore.  As I was there, they were moving tables and prepping for an event.  I found out that an author was speaking on his new published book; Gone In A Heartbeat. The author, Dr. Spector, is an oncologist that found himself having symptoms that no one confirmed or believed he was experiencing.  The symptoms were persistent, and Dr. Spector found himself in heart failure. Yet, during his talk what stood out was he second-guessed his gut feeling.  He goes on to say, “If I would have trusted my gut feeling, I might not needed a heart transplant.”  Some of his lasting words were, “Trust your gut, you know your body better than any physician.  It will not lead you in a direction that you should not follow.”

To read more about Dr. Neil Spector experience click on this link: https://lymeinside.wordpress.com/2015/02/07/gone-in-a-heartbeat-new-lyme-book-about-a-doctor-misdiagnosed/

So, this leads me back to my little adventure. I must admit researching historical facts can get so damn tough.  All the dates, people, dates and people, more dates and people with connections with more dates and people.  You get my drift.  I’m trying hard to trust my gut and follow the signs.  After hearing Dr. Spector, I completely surrendered.  This is my life.  I work fifty plus hours for one of the largest non-profits in Wilmington NC, I spend about twenty hours a week blogging and researching and any other time goes to my faithful companion, a German Shepherd named Haven.  There are rare moments with friends weaved within my weekly life. Yet, when I’m able to take the opportunity to be with them, I want to make sure that what I give them is quality verse quantity.

The past several weeks have been extremely difficult in my research.  I’ve received little response to my inquiries.  If I plan to meet my goals in writing this novel, I know I will be unable to participate with my friends in weekend getaways.  This adventure at times can be so exciting, but it can also be a pain-staking burden.  I’ve been researching Queen Elizabeth I, what a brokenhearted queen she was as she conquered Spain in one of the biggest battles in the 16^th century known as the Spanish Armada.  I’m sitting in my FlipKey apartment in Asheville struggling to find a sign to inspire my next in-depth, peel back, pain staking research avenue into another historical figure when I read this; “The 16th century replica ship will dock at Port City Marina in downtown Wilmington”.  For those of you that don’t know, the Port City is my home, Wilmington, North Carolina.  This replica is similar to the ships that played a vital role in the 16^th century. To further explain the importance of this 16^th century ship, some of my main historical figures, those that settled America sailed on a ship that was very similar, making this extremely important to my research. 

So, I’m sitting in Ashville NC, struggling to find a sign that I’m on the right path, second guessing my gut feeling, when out of the blue a replica of a 16^th century ship comes floating into my hometown.  I’ll take it as a swift kick in the gut that something magical beyond my control continues to occur.  So, I’ll continue to follow my gut feeling.

Why is it that we second-guess or worse ignore those physical signs that our gut feeling is trying to tell us?  I’m not sure, but I made a decision to pay attention to that deep pit in my stomach that has never led me down a wrong path.

Are you following your gut feeling? Believe me, you’ll know if you’re not!